I Aint a Liar, I'm a Truther

My favorite lines of Drake and Josh are the ones where they're arguing about honesty. It goes like this; Drake asks, "Are you calling me a liar?" To which Josh responds comically, "Well, I ain't calling you a truther."

Drake may not have been a truther. However, like Josh, I definitely am. 

My summer ended about 4 days ago; I had to come back to school two weeks early for job training. Since being back, I have had an overwhelming sense of peace. It's the first time in a year where my future wasn't completely unknown. I have friends here, I have a job here, I know my way around here. 

But, I won't lie to you; It has not been easy. 

I've had to change and adjust to a lot of things that made me feel uncomfortable. It was painful. I've shed a lot of tears. However, I found ways to cope and feel very happy admits all that. Still though, it was a rollercoaster and I'm grateful that I had the opportunity tonight, to reflect.

Reading my journal, I see that I am in a much better place now.  I learned such a great deal these past three months and I wanted to share some of those things;

1.You are accepted

2. Relationships will change... in a good way.

Growing up, my sister and I didn't always get along. We have always been so different and at one point I thought we'd never find a balance. I'd never get to be the sister I always dreamed of being. However, this summer I noticed a shift. We are quicker to forgive and share. We have both matured and we are becoming more like friends and it's very sweet.

3. How to love

I came to a realization, that seemed so obvious when I figured it out. This life is not about loving people only in the way you can or feel like giving it. It's about loving people in a way they can receive even if it makes you feel uncomfortable. Love isn't really love if you're putting yourself before the person you "love"

4. You are not defined by your relationship status

If you're the girl who's "always in a relationship" don't worry about it, because that's what we were designed for; to be in relationship! Likewise, for those of you that are single, it's okay! Me too. This season just gives us the chance to fix our eyes on Jesus; the most important relationship we can have. 

5. Always be exactly who you are

6. You won't always feel God's presence 

Sometimes, we go through seasons where it just doesn't feel like God is with us. But He is. Pray for endurance and just trust His timing. 

7. Time really does heal all wounds

8. Give yourself credit for the small victories

You will do yourself so much good if you focus on how far you've come, rather than looking at how far you still have to go. I prayed for patience a lot this summer. It got really hard sometimes, I lost my cool and I would get really frustrated. From there, I'd get emotional and feel like I hadn't made any progress. On days like that, you feel so defeated. It makes sense, life is hard and being patient is harder. However, there were times I noticed a [small] difference in my behavior; one day I didn't complain about a red light taking too long to change. Another day, I didn't get angry that a line was taking too long. There was this other time, I didn't feel annoyed sitting in traffic. These all seem silly but a couple years ago I would've stressed out and taken it out on someone else. Even things as small as tha is growth! So, give yourself a high five and understand we will never be perfect and so we should stop trying.

9. You are enough

10. Family is everything

Hands down the most important thing I learned this summer. Because, after everything, when you are stripped down and raw, they are really all you have.

It was a very hard summer, as well as, year. Although, I would not change a single thing. I have grown exponentially and I am only getting better. 

I encourage you to be a truther with yourself. Who were a year ago? Would that person be proud of who you are today? I can bet that your answers will really surprise you.

"I love the person I've become, because I fought to become her"

Editors note;

[I'm putting this at the end because I wanted to reemphasize the importance of number ten. If you don't have a good relationship with your family please take advantage of resources to change that. I promise you won't regret it. If you reach out and they refuse you, then at least you tried. And, for any teenagers that could be reading; your parents yell at you because they love you. They want to protect you. They worry about you. It's their job to be nosy and in your life so, please, allow them in. My parents frustrate me sometimes, that's what comes with relationship. However, I have always known that everything they do and say is for my good. Imagine what they may be going through as parents and all the things they have to do to make your life easy. I guarantee that when you shift your perspective your life and relationships will change.]