Needed

As I was making the final touches on my paper, I heard someone say, “I usually get 100 likes in an hour but I only got 38 likes and it’s been 2 hours, so I think I’m just gonna delete the photo.”

This statement stopped me dead in my tracks Or, actually, in my typing. I literally had to sit back and think about that for a second.

This girl, I didn’t know her, but I didn’t have to; I knew she was kind, gifted, loved, valued and so needed. Not to mention, she was just beautiful! I couldn’t understand why someone like that would even think of deleting a photo just because it didn’t get enough likes compared to her other photos.

But then, I had to stop again. I realized, I am guilty of this and I can say, with almost certainty, we all are.

I’d like to address it.

We live in an age of comparison. We have been conditioned to believe that if we are not as good as the person next to us, or even our previous selves, than we aren’t good at all.

THAT IS ABSURD.

Our differences are what make us beautiful, yet they are also the place where insecurity lives.

I’m talkative and pretty loud mannered. I’m an extrovert and I find excitement in everything. Recently, I’ve been comparing myself to everyone who is the complete opposite of me and it has left me feeling sorrowful.

Where I’m at in my life, I’ve found that most people have this negative perspective about themselves. The fundamental parts of who they are, they feel, are also what make them a burden to the world. However,  if we would just change our perspective and know that those parts are crucial to the balance of society, things would really start to change.

I remember my first week of being a residential assistant; we had a meeting with the whole hall and no one could get the residents to quiet down so we could begin. My coworkers looked to me.

I stood up and said, in my normal voice, “hey everyone, could you please quiet down so we could get started? Thanks,” and, immediately, the crowd hushed.

In that moment, if it were not for me and who I am, chaos would’ve continued.

I was needed.

In some regard, we are all needed. Not everyone, like me, will be needed to quiet a crowd. However, you may be needed to hype them up. Or maybe, you’re needed to cook for someone. I, for one, am a terrible cook, but that’s okay; that’s why we have you.

Shifting our perspective and celebrating our unique differences makes life way more fun. Let’s stop, paying attention to the likes, compared to how many we usually get. Or, better yet, how many likes we have compared to someone else. Let’s stop, comparing ourselves to people that are nothing like us. Let’s stop, striving to conforming to one another. Let’s start, getting excited about the fact that we are nothing alike.

I thank God, not everyone is exactly like me. I swear if I sat with myself in a room for too long, I’d punch me in the face. There’s nothing wrong with me, I love who I am. However, we already have a me; we don’t need another one.

I’m needed but only if there are you’s and her’s and him’s and us’s. Society can’t work if we are all the same.

So, love who you are and celebrate people who are different to you; cause like it or not, you and I desperately need them. Then, take it a step further, maybe put your phone down and pick up a cup of coffee. Sit down and talk to someone, make conversation. Create real community, with people who are going to be raw with you and people who will celebrate you for your differences to them.

Don’t  delete the photo. Don’t allow a double tap to validate who you are. Because who you are, I mean really, who YOU are, is incomparable and absolutely, without a doubt…  

needed.

“Comparison is the thief of joy”