To Point b

At the beginning of 2017 I attended my sweet friend, Jade’s, small group. I was late because I had work, but I made it. The main question was; what is the lord decreeing over your life for 2017?  My answer? Well I didn’t have one because I didn’t know. However, it didn’t take long to find out.  The first few weeks were a bit of a whirlwind for me. I was stressed about school and entering into a new relationship. As I went to people I trusted for advice I kept hearing, seeing and thinking the word: ‘breath.’  I remember tweeting about it, not knowing what it meant and my friend Jordan direct messaged me something I’ll never forget. She said, “So you know when you talk really fast and have to pause for a big breath? I believe god is telling you take a deep breath, stop talking, and just listen for a while. Listen to Him, listen to the people around you, listen to your situation. Breath, listen, and truly digest everything.”  I thought I knew how to hea...

Call me naive, but I am a firm believer that Christmas time really does bring people together. Everyone is extra cheery, everyone is a tad more relaxed, the weather is cozy and hugs are a regular. It’s my favorite. However, there is a group that believes the opposite. The Christmas season adds on a lot of pressure, particularly on parents who have to make sure Christmas is perfect for their kiddos. Or those grandmas that decided to host Christmas dinner for the family. It can be a lot. It is, after all, the season of giving. However, I think we forget it’s also the season of receiving . Okay, call me selfish, but just bare with me. Jesus is the giver. He is the ultimate giver. He gave us the gift of life when we didn’t deserve it and He didn’t ask for anything in return. All He wanted was for us to say thank you and to receive the gift. He doesn’t expect us to do anything else. He just wants us and He want to make us a better version, for nothing else; relationship and only rela...

If you’re anything like most of the population, you’re probably familar with having bad posture. AND what it’s like constantly being nagged to fix it. I too, am one of those people. I’ve always wanted to have better posture. I know it’s good for my body, and my body is important it’s my only one and I want to take care of it. However, something I was not aware of until recently, is that posture is not only important to take care of physically, but also spiritually. Your mind can have a bad posture. As I’ve grown in my faith I’ve started to learn more about this. And, you guessed it, just like my back everyone was telling me I needed to change the posture of my mind, “fix your minds posture,” they’d say. But, I never knew what it meant. I decided to ignore it, until God forced me to deal with it. He continually allowed Satan to put me into situations where I felt uncomfortable, sad and lonely. He wasn’t doing it to hurt me, but rather, to help me change my posture. I d...

What is your story?  I’ve been thinking a lot about stories, our stories and how they shape us, how your stories shape me and vise versa.  My story. I’m still writing it. However, recently I feel like it’s been kind of lame. I got into a car accident, I’m not dating anyone, I don’t love my classes, work is difficult and my sister almost lost her eye last week. So yeah. It hasn’t been the most wonderful chapter. However, it’s got me interested in everyone else’s stories.  I’ve met a lot of people who are going through some of the hardest times of their life; breakups, divorce, death, disease.  Hearing there stories, I get angry with myself that I’m upset over a broken car and they are losing some of the most important relationships in their lives. I don’t want to discredit my struggles. Just because things aren’t as bad, doesn’t mean they aren’t bad. I feel like every time I face a new struggle it somehow seems more unbearable than before. I get conf...

Everyday, I wake up and it’s like the devil says, “give up.” And everyday I say, “no.” I’m starting to think he’s getting really angry, because everyday it feels like it gets worse and worse. I’ll get a bad grade on a test, or my friend and I will fight, sometimes he’ll even let things get a little better just so he can rip off the band aid and make it seem even more unbearable when things go wrong. Today, I got into a car accident. It was my first one in 3 and a half years of driving. My entire bumper came off, the airbag deployed, I got a ticket and it was a hit and run. My heart hurt, literally, that airbag came so fast. But, more importantly, I felt angry that God could tell me he would bless me just to let something like this happen. I really wanted to give up. Satan was screaming in my ear, but I still said no. The events of this semester have left me feeling really lonely. However, today I was left with something different. When the devil said “no one car...

Where are you from? It’s probably my most and least favorite question I’ve gotten in coming to college. It’s my most favorite because, I love sharing my stories as I’ve traveled. However, it’s my least favorite because, it’s a long story and no one is ever really prepared for it. Florida is my home, but I go to College in Texas. However, I consider Colorado my hometown. Although, my childhood home is in Illinois. And before all that, I wasn’t even born in the country. I am from South Africa, Johannesburg. I lived there for 3 years before we moved to Illinois. We lived there for 5 years, until we would go on to Colorado for the next 11. And, we recently moved to Florida where we’ve been for just 1. Here are some answers to FAQs: No, we are not missionaries. No, I’m not an illegal immigrant. No, I’m not afraid of being deported. No, I am not a citizen. Actually, I have dual citizenship in Italy and South Africa. No, I do not smoke weed. No, we are not a mil...

As I was making the final touches on my paper, I heard someone say, “I usually get 100 likes in an hour but I only got 38 likes and it’s been 2 hours, so I think I’m just gonna delete the photo.” This statement stopped me dead in my tracks Or, actually, in my typing. I literally had to sit back and think about that for a second. This girl, I didn’t know her, but I didn’t have to; I knew she was kind, gifted, loved, valued and so needed. Not to mention, she was just beautiful! I couldn’t understand why someone like that would even think of deleting a photo just because it didn’t get enough likes compared to her other photos. But then, I had to stop again. I realized, I am guilty of this and I can say, with almost certainty, we all are. I’d like to address it. We live in an age of comparison. We have been conditioned to believe that if we are not as good as the person next to us, or even our previous selves, than we aren’t good at all. THAT IS ABSURD. Our diff...