Strong

I've had a lot on my heart these past couple weeks and if I'm honest I really have no idea where this blogpost is going, all I know is it's probably gonna mention the word 'strength' a time or two. Here goes... 

"There is no one stronger."

(Alright off to a pretty good start.)

When I heard that in worship the other day, everything kind of just clicked for me. 

I'm sure we've all experienced this, maybe in math. Theres this concept that you can not understand for the life of you, but then one day a teacher figures out a way to explain it differently and you just... get it.

Or, maybe you don't and math is just really hard. Same. But maybe you've experienced this with english class or driving. 

I remember in high school I was learning how to drive stick shift, right around the same time my best friend, Meghan, was too. I was driving my moms car and she had her own, so she got to practice more frequently and picked it up pretty quickly. I'd check in with her from time to time to let her know how I was progressing, but it was just taking forever. I asked her how she learned. What she said doesn't realy matter, what does matter is the way she said it made sense to me. The next time I got in the car I knew exactly what to do and I've never forgotten how to drive stick. 

It's interesting how we cana go so long not understanding and then all of the sudden it just makes total sense. We wonder why we hadn't thought of it in the first place. That's how that day in worship felt. 

I always knew that God was strong but it was like all my faith was reaffirmed and when I heard those words I thought to myself, "why the heck am I so worried? God is the strongest! He's got it!" 

It's hard to explain, really it's something you just have to get for yourself. 

What I'm trying too say is that, God wants us to understand. He wants us to know what our next step is, but He knows that without trust and without surrender it won't do anything. Ou rfaith won't be strengthened, we won't feel at peace and our relationship with God won't grow stronger. We'll just get what we want and then go straight back to square one, but God doesn't want to leave us there. He gives us tough love to make us tough, to prepare us and when we are ready He lets us in on the secret we've so desperately pursued. 

But it takes a desperate pursuit, it takes reciprocation on our part.

God has spent the better half of a year seeing just how much I'll trust him, especially regarding money. Tithing has always been a difficult thing for me. It got so bad that I made money the Lord of my life and I was hurting. However, I surrendered and God has released me from that bondage. I was weak but what I didn't understand was, 2 Corinthians 12:9. In my weakness His strength was made perfect. I could be strong, because He was. I didn't have to do it alone just like I had been trying to do for so long. 

I think I wanted to show God that I could be Strong, that even though I was hurting and I could power through it. Meanwhile, all He wanted was me, honest and raw. 

He broke me down and built me back up stronger. 

So, when I heard those words it felt like an Ah-ha moment. But I had heard that song SO many times before this time He just 

I think I finished that pretty strong.